Political+Diary+with+Vukani+Mde,+Business+Day+Weekender

Business Day Weekender, 2006/06/17 12:00:00 AM
=Political Diary=
 * with Vukani Mde**

=Prayer to the most high, our President=

WE, the presidential working group of women, express our unequivocal support to you, Mr President, for your leadership in the way you are tackling the multiple challenges in SA and beyond, and the way you are shaping our democracy — single-handedly, we might add.

We appreciate the model leadership you have provided on women empowerment and emancipation for all leaders in the world. Mr President, through the championing of women empowerment you have given us our dignity back. You, Mr President, not the loudmouths that call themselves feminists, progressives and other titles of honour but who never do anything to empower us. They don’t appoint five women as premiers to empower us. They don’t appoint a 60% female cabinet to empower us. They willfully ignore Take a Girl Child to Work day, an initiative which is close to your blessed heart. They don’t put their heads on the block to call for a woman president to empower us. This, by the way, is a call we fully endorse, Mr President, as it is yet another sure sign of your unfailing foresight, your love for all women in equal measure, and your devotion to our emancipation. Long may you continue along the path of true enlightenment.

We meet again as the presidential working group of women (truly we must emphasise “working”, so no one can mistake us for the jobless mobs who think they can take over the country) as never before, conscious of our role and contribution, and reaffirming our commitment to you, Mr President. We are, of course, also committed to a SA that can interrogate issues of gender, and realign sexuality, ethnicity, race, class and livelihood simultaneously, thereby providing a nuanced examination of social processes that provide clearer ideas for a transformative development that attends to aspects of people’s lives beyond the economic sphere. And so on and so forth.

We are aware, Mr President, that some among us may not even know what any of that means, but that is only the final proof that your tireless efforts to empower us have propelled us, your chosen ones, towards a more superior understanding of your will.

Turning to the issue of the succession, Mr President, we are disturbed by the mindless noise made by people who do not know you half as well as we do. We, the women of SA, agree that we need to be part of the shared vision of government under your perpetual leadership, Mr President. It is our understanding that this vision is what binds us together, through our faith in you and your wise leadership, which is more powerful than doctrine that divides. Our unity is our love for you, for freedom, and our relentless search for economic opportunities, common ground and the like. We, Mr President, are content to leave complex things like the succession in your hands and your all-seeing eye.

It goes without saying that talk of dictatorship is ridiculous.

Long live the President.


 * From: http://www.businessday.co.za/Articles/TarkArticle.aspx?ID=2095025**

=It’s about the balls, stupid=

WHAT does Jacob Zuma feed his comrades when they gather at Nkandla to plot against the president?

Whatever it is, it appears to be having an effect on the testicular regions of the group’s members.

“I want to state officially that we as Cosatu have the balls to walk out of this alliance,” said Cosatu general secretary Zwelinzima Vavi this week. He was being challenged about whether Cosatu could actually do what it was threatening to do.

Mo Shaik, Zuma’s chief of staff, once told the Mail & Guardian that a businessman had told him that he respected the entire Shaik clan, apparently because of the size of their testicles.

“Ja, we can do business with you guys! You’ve got the balls of elephants!”

I’ve personally never seen a Shaik ball, nor a Cosatu one, but shouldn’t we be worried about the masculinist noises of people who might well end up running the country soon? Many South Africans typically worry about trifling things such as Zuma’s alleged corruption.

But it’s the balls, stupid!


 * From: http://www.businessday.co.za/Articles/TarkArticle.aspx?ID=2095124**

=Just shut up and tee off, already=

I DON’T know why people are climbing all over Charles Nqakula. He had it damn right. This is a country of sissy whingers.

If you can’t take the heat people, voetsek out of the kitchen.

Jacob Zuma thinks The State (aided by The Media) has it in for him. President Thabo Mbeki thinks The Left hate him and are plotting to oust him. Every second citizen thinks The Criminals are out to rape, rob and hijack just them in particular. And The Government is doing nothing about it.

Just shut up all of you, actually.

Quite frankly, The President has nothing to fear from The Left. They are the worst bunch when it comes to moaning. They never do anything else. Ever. How are people like that supposed to oust you?

According to them, The Capitalists have taken over the country and are trying to hijack The Revolution. The Media have been bought by The Bosses, so they say nothing about it, and The Workers are repressed whenever they try to say something. Hence we are sliding towards A Dictatorship.

Cosatu, the leaders of the left whiners, have released a whinge document about how The Government has abandoned The People since 1996. Apparently this is because the ANC, and Mbeki in particular, have slid down the pockets of The Capitalists and couldn’t give two hoots about The Working Class anymore. How The Capitalists achieved this historical reversal is deceptively simple: they introduced everyone in a position of power to the allure of golf.

Apparently most business people don’t bother with Parliament and other Institutions of Democracy, and just take ministers out for a round on the greens. Golf-course lobbying. That’s what The Revolution turned on in the end. I don’t know who’s advising Zwelinzima Vavi, but if I were him I would never admit this in public, especially on the eve of an elective congress. How does he explain himself to Cosatu’s 2-million members? “Comrades, here’s the thing. We lost the Revolution because I couldn’t play a decent round.”

Here’s a radical idea: learn how to play the game. I don’t much care for golf myself but if the very revolution depended on it, I’d be the first in line at the Pro Shop buying the funny pants and the expensive sticks.


 * From: http://www.businessday.co.za/Articles/TarkArticle.aspx?ID=2095048**

=Rid the fiscus of the feudalists=

THE front page of The Star on Thursday contained a sentence no journalist should ever have to write: “Xhosa king Buyelekhaya Dalindyebo — a relative of Nelson Mandela — is to answer 35 charges, including murder, kidnapping, extortion and arson.”

Government should rid us all of the corrupt system of monarchy without delay. A state founded through the efforts of a progressive, modern movement such as the ANC should have no tolerance for the Zwelithinis, Mswatis and Dalindyebos who continue to be an untold drain on the fiscus.

Mswati, Swaziland’s playboy king, has carved out a career for himself as abductor and impregnator of unsuspecting virgins.

Now this. The Xhosa “King” is facing the rap sheet of a thuggish taxi boss. If the allegations his terrified subjects are making in the Mthatha High Court can be believed, the “king” visited a reign of terror on destitute villagers, extorting cash, confiscating livestock and burning down homesteads.

The countryside can entertain its feudal warlords if it wants. But as a modern republic, we don’t have to fund them.


 * From: http://www.businessday.co.za/Articles/TarkArticle.aspx?ID=2095121**

=P. S.=

JABU “Okumhlophe” Sithole died at a Johannesburg clinic on Thursday having lost his battle against AIDS. He leaves behind his pregnant wife and two children. The SABC’s popular Zulu weatherman revealed his status in March, saying he wanted to encourage his fans to protect themselves. Clearly it was already too late for him. But Sithole’s disclosure will help if it instills a similar courage in others who endure HIV and AIDS in silence, paralysed by the stigma and the possibility that they will be ostracised. By disclosing, Sithole followed the likes of Khabzela, another talented young South African cut down by AIDS. May we have their courage when our time comes. Okumhlooooophe.


 * From: http://www.businessday.co.za/Articles/TarkArticle.aspx?ID=2094953**

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